Thursday, March 28, 2013

Synchronicities, Sutures & Smiles

A few weeks ago I had to have a some biopsies done.  It was a frightening process for me as two weeks prior to my appointment my Uncle Jamie had passed away from the cancerous and often silent killer, melanoma.  It wasn't the first time I had to have something sent to a pathologist, but it was the first time I was seriously concerned. I had some skin changes that definitely needed investigating.

I felt nervous anticipation over the next days while waiting for the results from pathology. The days passed slowly and my mind was filled with the worries and "what-if's". Finally the time had come to have my stitches removed. . . and without a phone call from the Doctor. I reminded myself that in the medical field, no news is usually good news.

Yesterday I returned to the doctor who performed the procedures.  On the way to the follow-up appointment, I tuned in to a local radio station in an attempt to "lighten the mood".  During the five-minute commute, I heard a familiar voice coming through the speakers.  My niece had called in and requested one of my favorite upbeat songs.  The radio announcer played back the recording of my niece's unmistakably sweet southern voice. It made me smile. :)

As I sat in the lobby waiting to be called back, a young father walked out with two little girls, each holding one of his hands. The younger of the two little blonde angels looked right at me, waved and spoke a soft "bye". I lifted my hand to wave back, smiled and returned her goodbye.

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As they approached the door, the little girl started tugging at her Daddy's hand, pulling in my direction. He bent down to her and whispered, "We have to go". She spoke up and replied, "But she's my friend!" I had never met them. It was just the sweetness I needed, as I was waiting for my news.

The Physician didn't make an appearance yesterday. My regular nurse came in and told me, "So far everything has come back okay." A nurse whom I had never met came in and removed the stitches from the three biopsy sites. I inquired again about the results, as I felt I really wasn't given enough information. To me, "so far" indicated that the office was awaiting further results.

My regular nurse returned. His bedside manner lacked compassion. His response to my inquiry of the results was crass, "As I said, everything was benign." I wanted to speak up and say, "No, that is actually NOT what you said. What you said was 'so far...blah blah blah!'" But I held my tongue and I reminded myself of the Reiki Principle, "Just for today . . . I will not anger."

I left the office without my Physician taking a look at the progress of my incision sites. She left it to the judgment of my regular nurse and the unfamiliar face who had removed the stitches. I had expected more than what I received. I left the office feeling unsure of what was in the pathology report. Had they really gotten all the results back? "So far" echoed in my mind as I walked out the door.

Two hours later, I was back at an urgent care facility. Apparently one week is not long enough to leave stitches in an incision site as deep as the one on my leg. The internal sutures were under a great deal of tension and I was in a lot of pain and bleeding. I'd tried to bandage it myself long enough to drive there, and I had done a poor job!

While I was waiting for a Doc to come in, I noticed the sign on the wall. "Where there is Great Love, there are always miracles."

Once again, I was greeted by nurses only. They took great care in handling my "situation". They were very compassionate, discussed the possibility of greater scarring because of what had happened and offered suggestions to minimize the effects.

After they glued and taped me back up, one nurse commented that she'd tried her best to make sure the scarring would be minimal. The incision site was in a place that would be noticeable. I left the urgent care facility feeling I had been in good hands.

I spent the drive back home comparing the bedside manner of the nurses at my regular Physician's office where I am known to the nurses at the urgent care facility where my face is unfamiliar. Unconditional love for one's chosen place in life and genuine compassion for a stranger makes a huge difference! I thought about that little girl who called a stranger her "friend".

Grateful for compassion!

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Thursday, March 21, 2013

FREE Reiki!?! Are You Insane?

I am a participant in a Reiki forum through a group of Reiki Professionals.  Recently one of the members asked a question that was very near and dear to my heart.  This Reiki Practitioner was asking how to go about offering a Volunteer Reiki Clinic for those suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

The question of "free" Reiki was met with a tremendous amount of opposition.  In the field of Reiki Professionals, asking for free Reiki would be like asking your Physician to treat you for free or asking your dentist for a free root canal.  I am aware that there is a need for some form of "energy exchange" for services, whether it is financial compensation for the Practitioner's time or some sort of barter for goods in exchange for services.  I agree that everyone must make a living somehow, for money is what makes the world go 'round (for now).  But believe it or not, there are still Physicians and Dentists that do volunteer work in addition to their financially-compensated practices.  Giving "free" Reiki to a particular group of people in need would be great advertisement for a new practice, or for developing a Reiki practice in an area where the benefits of Reiki are not well-known.

There is a level of philanthropy involved in being a "healer".  After all, by definition a "philanthropist" is someone who has a deep desire to promote the welfare of others, particularly by giving something of financial value.  Why else would a Reiki Practitioner choose Reiki as their profession?  Why else would a Physician choose to go to medical school?  Okay, so maybe someone might choose to be an M.D. for the money and that was not such a good example, but there must have been a deep desire to help others involved at some point in the decision to be a professional in any "healing" field.

Believe Tranquil Energy - Reiki Kanji Throw Pillow (26" x 26") by Willows Cabin.

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Source: Believe Tranquil Energy - Reiki Kanji Throw Pillow by Willows Cabin - 26" x 26"

If the only reason why I chose to be a Reiki Practitioner was for the money, I would have chosen a different profession! I double-majored in college, but the Universe had other plans for me.  I took a quantum leap off the path I had chosen and ended up in Reiki class.  Talk about a major hiatus!

Why?  Something really, REALLY bad happened to me and left me with PTSD.  All the Therapists, Physicians, and Specialists I visited couldn't seem to fix the problem.  After I was attuned to Reiki, my symptoms decreased by exponential levels!  Yes, I still have trouble, but I am not afraid to go outside and talk to strangers like I used to be.

Reiki gave something to me that I cannot put a price tag on.  Yes, I paid for my Reiki classes, but my self-treatments will be free for the rest of my life.  Reiki has given me a closer relationship with God as well . . . and that is DEFINITELY something that cannot be valued monetarily.

Call it my way of giving back.  I offer Reiki for free to others with PTSD.  Most of the "free" Reiki is from a distance, and what I get in return is feedback.  I get to see what kind of progress the "client" is making.  It also gives me something to write about, as most of my "free" clients give me permission to write about their sessions and include their feedback in the name of anonymity.  So there is an "energy exchange" . . . though not in the form of dollars and cents.  I get to fulfill my deep desire to help others, to raise awareness of the healing benefits of Reiki, and to raise awareness of PTSD.  The universe sees to it that I am cared for . . . that is my payment.

So what do I do for money?  I am writing a book, an I am also an artist. I am getting great exposure as an author and artist through my website.  My "free" clients are going to get me published . . . and their stories of healing are incredible!  I'm just here to be a vessel to help them, and in return I am helped.  Helping others get through PTSD and other personal battles through Reiki is way better therapy than any Professional I have ever paid.  And as an artist, my artwork has thus far supported my website at the very least (and art has incredible therapeutic benefits).

I am not suggesting that anyone should "jump ship" on their current treatment programs and climb on board the Reiki Cruise-line, I am simply saying my treatment program wasn't working for me!  Anyway, my "free" clients get Reiki, and I get Reiki by being the vessel through which healing energy flows to them.  There is an energy exchange involved . . . it just doesn't have a price tag.

When it is time for my Reiki Practice to grow, it will grow.  Word-of-mouth will make it grow.  And when the universe decides it is time for me to be "paid" for Reiki, it will happen. It may be through the book I am writing, it may be through donations, it may be through teaching others how to be Reiki Practitioners once I work my way through my Reiki Mastery (I am Reiki II now).

Eventually, I will consistently receive payment for my time during Reiki sessions. But I will not lose my roots . . . I will not stop giving back what has been so freely given to me.  One thing I learned at a very young age is that in all things, whether spiritual "success" in the form of healing or financial "success" . . . timing is on God's watch, and He always provides . . . even if it is just "in a nick of time".

I don't need a lot of "things" . . . what I need is for the world to be a better place, with less pain and suffering and more of people helping people without expecting "things" in return.  That, my friends is what love is all about.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Pursue Your Dreams

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.  Walt Disney.
Is there something you have always dreamed of doing?  What are you waiting for?

Go after your dream!

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Thursday, March 7, 2013

Searching for Significance


I search for some meaning
in yesterday's pain
How can it be that my breath
matters to none?

In a day full of rainbows
I see only rain
My eyes are so clouded
There's no room for sun

No significance to family
No significance to friends
Why is it even important?
Why should I care if they care?

It seems to me
I've only ever been a means to an end
As I face the reality of it
The weight is too heavy to bear

I have given my all
to my breath in this life
I have tried to love as best I can
without consideration of my own soul

Love without love of self
can only bring torment and strife
I never learned to love myself
I was never taught how to be whole

Why should I care if they care?
Because a world without love is insignificant
I thought I gave so much
But there was nothing left of me to give

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Never give in -- never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.  Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. Sir Winston Churchill (Harrow School Speech, 1941).